Coming out is defined as telling someone about yourself that isn’t immediately obvious, such as your
sexuality or gender identification. Telling people that you’re gay, lesbian, bi or transgender is a gradual
process for most young people. Every child will have their own way of dealing with coming out. It may
be easy or difficult for some children. Some children will directly tell you whilst some might try and
give you signs without having to tell you outright.
If your child has being given you signs that they want to come out, but without directly saying. You
can start up a general conversation that will allow them to bring up the topic. It will be important that
you actively listen to your child and discuss what they are worried about.
Accepting your own feelings
It is important that you deal with your own feelings. As a parent you might be completely comfortable
with the idea that your son or daughter is gay, or you might have difficulties in coming to terms with
If you are struggling with your own feelings here are some tips to help your child.
There are many myths about a person’s sexuality. Such as ‘it’s just a phase’, ‘mixing in with the wrong
people’,’over-caring mother’ or ‘it can be cured’. These are wrong. If your child tells you they are gay,
accept it, as they won’t have said it lightly. It is important you understand the facts rather than the
Speak to family, friends, or any professional about how and why you feel the way you do.
There is plenty advice online if you would rather not talk about it.